Those four letters are enough to strike fear into even the strongest of hearts.  If you think about it, it’s not the nicest of words, there’s no escaping the word “die” in it.  And if you misspell “die”, it tells a loveable extra-terrestrial to go top himself (Di ET).  Horrid word.

Anyhow, despite my disliking of the word and diets themselves (I had a severe eating disorder in my youth and spent a lot of time in hospital); I realised that if I did not want to keep growing and land up as Jabba-the-Hut The Wheelchair Years, I was going to have to take back control of my life and D_I_E_T.

I used to be really quite thin and then life happened; I became disabled which was a bugger as I used to be really active.  Then I had children…. that the clincher, to be honest I had such bad hyperemesis during both pregnancies that I probably put on more weight after they were born, but still, you naturally get bigger cradling a small person in your womb and I just didn’t go back down again.

I tried to diet in 2011, I did Slimming World for three months, got back down to a 12, which although bigger than I was before, I could happily cope with.  The problem with the diet was that Christmas came and anyone who knows me will tell you, I like Christmas.

I like Christmas in a big way.  I even make my own mincemeat, puyddings and yule-log for God’s sake.  It has been suggested that I have a mental disorder that only surfaces at Yuletide, yes, my family accuse me of having Christmas Psychosis.  I’m not making light of mental health issues here, in fact not only did I have severe eating issues in my tender years, I am also a reformed depressive and my husband spent the last part of his Uni days and his early twenties suffering from Cannabis Psychosis so I know mental illness, but we are both better now and my insanity where Crimbo is concerned is a yearly joke for all the family.

Anyhow, I digress again.  So Christmas 2011 came and went and with that so did my diet… I want cakes and goose fat roasted spuds, than you very much and no fry light is going to make that wish go away.

In 2012 the husband, who despite having a 32 hip when I met him, yes he was a skinny indie boy who to be honest did look a little anorexic himself, had grown in girth with me.  We cooked everything (well almost) ourselves, didn’t drink, ate organically, etc but we had one problem.  That my friends was two little letters of the alphabet:

B & J, yes  this week’s weight gain was bought to you by the letters B & J.  No smutty jokes thank you, I am of course talking about those purveyors of sickeningly sweet ice cream, Ben and Jerries.  Yes, those bastards are to blame for our weight gain.

Anyhow we attempted to diet last year, but to be honest it was a half hearted attempt which doesn’t really ever achieve results and a bad day woyuld usually end in this way:

Me: “hmmmm I’m a bit hungry”

Him: “me too”

A few moments pass

Him: ” I’m going to the shop to get some milk, do you want anything?”

Me: ” Ok, I’ll have [silence]…. No, no don’t worry, we can’t”


He then looks at me like an inquisitive puppy, head all tilted

Him:” Oh No, you want ice cream”

Me: “No. no it’s fine”

Him: ” Are you sure?”

Me: ” What do you think? No we can’t. Can we?”

Him: “I’ll get the ice cream”


Oh they were good, but bad times [wipes tear from eye].  Over Christmas we both kind of got a bit fed up with our lives, and one of the top annoyances was our ever increasing waistbands which had moved us from being vibrant, popular people; to recluses who only went out with the children, to shop or for work related things.  We resolved to do something about it and although it’s only been a week so far, it’s going great.

The diet we have decided to do is not really a diet at all.  We are following The 8 Hour Diet to the letter so loads of healthy, good foods, lots of water and only eating during an 8 hour period.  The lifestyle plan, as that’s what it really is, states that you only really need to do it for three days a week to see results, but we are doing it for all seven days.  It’s not even that hard and I don’t feel hungry.

8 Hour Diet

We are supplementing the diet by using Slimming Word and Hairy Bikers recipes during those 8 hours and we’re going to attend a Slimming World group for extra support, although owing to my wheelchair hubby will be the only one getting weighed.

I was so happy on Thursday as only five days in and I had already lost weight.  I know this, not because I got on any scales, but because my jeans which over Christmas had become painful, were actually really comfortable, even after being tumble dryed.

YEY!  I will keep posting about the diet and upload any good recipes we come across in the weeks to come.  I look at it this way.  If I lost weight in five days, how great will it be in five weeks or five months?!  I’m looking forward to 2013 already!

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