“I hate everybody in the whole planet”
I love my autistic son. He cracks me up so much, it took me over 30 years to become a bit of a misanthrope but he has managed it in under 5.
Today has been a bit of a shitty day for him. We are going away tomorrow and so the schedule has gone out of the window today and the attention lavished on him has also been reduced.
Due to his autism once he knows something is going to happen he thinks that means now, this very second. He has no concept of time or waiting, or queuing or patience, or pretty much anything that does not involve what he :
(a) wants to happen or
(b) expects to happen,
Today my mum was coming over after work. Moo decided that meant when he woke up at 7 this morning, despite the fact that it is normal for her to come around on a Friday afternoon after work. So how did this play out? Well he essentially waited on his windowsill all day for her to come and pretty much refused to come down. When he did come down it was to attack me, have a go at me for finishing off working and to generally be a nightmare.
Finally my mother came round and we sat in the garden so I could re-pot my runner beans (or the triffids as they’re becoming). Once she was here he decided he didn’t want to help in the garden and spent most of his time in the house, moaning to himself.
As we’re so behind getting ready it’s take away tonight. He wanted to go with the husband to get it but then found Mario Kart which he has been on for the last hour and a half. He is playing on the “versus” section where you play others from around the world. “You see these people?” he asks…. I am confused then realise he means on the screen… “these people are my friends[he doesn’t really make friends in the real world]” .
Me: “Are they”
Moo: “Yes, and I hate them”
Moo:”I hate everyone in the whole wide planet”
Me:”Well that’s not really everyone in the planet”
Moo:”Yes it is”
(I realise at this point there is no sense arguing with him as he will refuse to accept that it’s not the entire population of the planet, but to be honest he doesn’t really understand the word “planet”, he can’t even get hot from cold or he from she most the time)
Me: “Why do you hate them, they’re not doing anything”
Moo: “They are. They want to be my friends. They’re always following me and I don’t like them.”
Me: “They’re only trying to play with you”
Moo: “YEs and I don’t want to play with them, they always want to play with me and I hate them because I hate everyone in the whole wide planet”
He then goes on to reel off a list of those he doesn’t hate, namely his family. He is still playing now next to me, reminding me every few seconds that they won’t leave him alone and he really does hate “everyone on the whole planet.”
So just when I think I cannot take autism and the constant attacks aimed at me anymore, he makes me laugh so hard that I cannot help thinking, it’s not really that bad.