Well for someone trying to relax and get well I have been very busy the last 15 or so hours. I have decided to try and rid myself of anxiety and fear, thus curing my anxiety disorder, by trying to learn various healing mediums. I have done lots of reading on meditation and chanting. Last night I downloaded some apps to help me get started (background sound effects and hypnosis) and spent four hours last night chanting, meditating and fell asleep to hypnosis downloads.
Now I am very cynical, it has been suggested that I cannot be hypnotised. Indeed my A-Level Philosophy tutor used to practice hypnotising us and I used to have to leave. I liked to sit cross-legged, he said it was because I was holding stuff back”. He wanted us to imagine being on clouds; my clouds turned to balloons which I set about popping (no what this says about my 17 year old self from a psycho analytical perspective I don’t know). Now though I had ceased to be so destructive when tried to put under, it has never worked: my mind being too frantically darting from one thought to another, refusing to let go.
Anyhow last night was the first night I fell asleep before 5 for a long time. Now it was still 3 am but that has to be a move in the right direction; and surprisingly I slept through! I woke up at a ridiculous time and felt refreshed.
Upon waking I continued to do more chanting and to be honest with you I have not felt anxious yet today. Still poorly, but I have a virus on top of all my other health problems, but not anxious and though I know it is early days and the pangs of panic could strike later that has to be a good thing!
